Falling Inside The Black
by hup123hup123slapslap
Summary: When Ben's habit to push Riley to the side gets to be too much for the computer geek he snaps and goes into a deep depression. Only Ben can save him. But, will he? Dark themes, attempted suicide. Abigail bashing.
1. Slipping Through The Cracks

Just a little test on an idea I had a looong time ago. Hope ya like it!

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**Chapter 1 "Slipping through the cracks"**

Riley jumped out of his car as soon as he pulled the key from the ignition. Ignoring the door on his bright red convertible, the young man jumped out and practically skipped to the giants doors of Ben and Abigail's house.

Today was his birthday! Normally people had grown out of birthdays but not him. His birthday was practically the only day he could spend with Ben uninterrupted, because he never canceled because of interviews, treasure hunts, or Abby's problems.

The computer geek didn't even bother with the doorbell choosing instead to just barge inside. After all, he did help to pay for this house in a way, so it was kinda his.

Riley listened for anything that would indicate that someone was around. In a few seconds an annoyed Abigail entered the room. She was wearing a pretty – which Riley would never admit even under torture – black dress. Currently she was putting on a pair of expensive earrings.

"Hey Abs, where's Ben?"

"Right here."

Riley turned to the side and his smile fell. There was Ben, dressed in a tux, looking completely confused as to why Riley would be here.

"Look Riley, I really can't talk. We have a party to go to."

A shocked Riley could only stare at his older friend. He'd been through everything with Ben -- geez, the guy had almost gotten him killed on multiple occasions, and he couldn't bother to remember his supposed-best friends birthday?

Riley's surprised sadness turned into rage, and without answering he just turned around and headed for the door.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Ben asked, taking a few steps forward. Riley didn't even turn around.

Ben ran after him, grabbing the nerd's arm. Riley looked at Ben, and it was Ben's turn to be shocked when he saw that his friend was crying.

Taking advantage of Ben's surprise Riley yanked his arm away and glared. The constant feeling that Ben didn't even care, supported by the pretty good evidence, had been weighing on Riley. This event was the thing that made him snap.

"I have always been there for you! Every crazy idea, every treasure hunt, and every clue. I was there for you when no one else was! When have you ever been there for me?"

Ben was about to reply, but soon stopped. He honestly didn't have an answer. "Riley…."

The younger man rolled his eyes. "That's what I thought." He climbed into his car and drove off quickly, leaving two confused people behind.

Thinking over what Riley had said Ben realized he had been an awful friend. The treasure hunter couldn't even remember the last time he'd even thanked Riley. Abigail realized she hadn't been much better.

"Ben, I think today is Riley's birthday."

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I know it's short, sorry! But I've been really focusing on my original stories lately, as I'm 14 and have yet to finish any of the 3 novels I started when I was 9 lols

Please review and tell me if you want me to continue or just stop and hide in a corner XP

This is based off the song 'Falling Inside the Black' by Skillet


	2. I've Wasted So Much Time

This is short....but then all of these will be because I kind of split the song lyrics into chapter titles and so there are going to be a lot more chapters then there needs to be lol

Oh right, well, my cousin is doing well, and I've moved! So, that kind of helped inspire me XP What else is a 10 hour car ride for? And, my cousin might even be moving to Ohio soon to be with us!  
So, good stuff considering the situation :D

Thanks for you're lovely support and I really really love you all and I don't even know you lol  
But really, it means a ton that you can care about someone you don't even know, and after one silly little crappily done story, so thanks again

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"_Ben, I think today is Riley's birthday."_

Riley slammed his hand into the steering wheel. He was sitting in his car outside of his crappy barely-lived in icky apartment. It felt like the mansion was him home now. Well, _was _his home. Stupid Ben.

He was a little surprised he'd gotten to his place safely considering how fast tears were falling from his eyes. They were making everything annoying blurry. Like when Ben used to lick his fingers before wiping them on his glasses just to make Riley angry. NO! Enough about Ben!

"Ugh! How could I have been so stupid?" Riley asked the air. It just made his mood worse when the air didn't reply. "Of course once we found the treasure I would be pushed even farther back on his list of priorities! What did I expect, that for once someone wouldn't use me and dump me?"

The air still didn't reply to his little rant and with an angry yell Riley got out and slammed the door of his precious car.

"What the hell did I expect?" He repeated quietly, losing all of his energy and slumping to the gross ground. "I've wasted too much time getting my hopes up."

Ben sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He watched silently as Abigail paced back and forth while talking on the phone. Her words weren't registering in Ben's history-warped brain. All he was thinking about was the fact that his friend had practically just walked out of his life. His _best _friend had left.

The sad thing was it would have taken him an hour to think of what was wrong with Riley had Abigail not told him. After her softly spoken words he'd run inside to look at the calendar. Right there, in Riley's messy handwriting, was the reminder, surrounded by stupid little balloons that didn't even look like balloons. Riley's artistic talent still needed to develop.

Before Ben had always known that he never really hung out or even talked to Riley since the treasure finding, but before he'd made excuses. Oh sure the interviews and museum parties were important, but not as much as Riley. Now, he realized what an idiot he'd been, but it was too late now.

He'd wasted so much time at parties and museums Riley would never talk to him again. Ever.

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Should be updated soon because I have the next chapter written already. Please review so I know you still care though!


	3. Tonight I'm So Alone

Alright guys, I wanna know when you want me to update every week. I'm trying to work on a writing schedule (you've probably noticed I have no focus by now) but I don't know where to put this...

Currently I have it at Sunday and Monday but that just sucks lol

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Ben nearly jumped out of his skin when Abigail shook he shoulder. He'd been zoned out. Geez, now he was even acting like Riley.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts Ben rubbed his eyes and looked at his girlfriend. She was still dressed up and now that he thought about it, he was too. "Yeah?"

She gave him a sympathetic smile and pulled him up. "Time to go."

"Where?"

"The party."

Ben stopped and looked at her, startled. "I can't…" How could she even suggest that now?

Abigail rolled her eyes and opened the door before practically pushing Ben out of it. "It's obvious you need something to distract you and Riley needs some time to calm down before you two talk. We're going."

Ben followed her simply because he didn't want to fight anymore today.

Riley punched the ground to release some anger. This was just a stupid idea all around and Riley yelped in pain just a second after his knuckles smashed into the rough asphalt.

Thankfully scraping up his hand finally convinced him to go inside. He wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting outside in the crappy parking lot and leaning against his car but he was numb and cold and now in pain.

He rushed inside, fumbling with his keys for a few minutes before realizing it was unlocked. Opps. After getting inside and _locking _the door behind him he ran into the tiny little bathroom to get the first aid kit Ben had insisted he get. "No! Don't think about him!" Riley scolded himself.

Then he wrapped up his smushed fist and headed to the kitchen. A 24 pack of beer sat in his fridge from some long-time-ago party and he grabbed it quickly before flopping down on the couch. Lazily he turned the tv on just to get some light in there since his light bulbs were all burnt out.

Usually he hated to be alone but he welcomed the quiet tonight. He just wanted to be by himself. Scratch that, he wanted Ben there, apologizing. But come on, that would never happen.

So, Riley drank can after can of the old, vile tasting beer and wallowed in self pity, and self hate. It must be his fault right? After all, his parents left him. His sister left him. Hell, his grandparents kicked him out and weren't they supposed to be the sweet old people who spoiled you? And now Ben had made it clear that he really didn't care about him either.

Who else could be to blame but Riley?

**BENBENBENBENBENBENBEN **

Ben smiled and laughed while talking to some guy he'd forgotten the name of. On the outside he was still normal old Ben but on the inside he was boiling.

He was angry at Abigail for dragging him here. He was angry at every happy person that was oblivious to his unhappiness. Mostly he was angry at himself. It was his fault Riley was upset. He'd never meant to hurt him. Riley was just so easy going and never got mad. He was so easy to push to the side.

So, despite the fact that he was surrounded by hundreds of people Benjamin Gates had never felt so alone in his entire life.

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Review peas! Tell me the two days I should update this each week, and have a good day!!


	4. Dreaming Of The Way It Used To Be

Sheesh, why'd it take you so long to update if this is so short?

Well me, I'm really bad at this whole "updating" thing. But, I have extra motivation as I need to finish my fanfics before I can even begin writing for my book, which I've sworn to have done by the end of this year. So uh....yay?

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Riley smiled at Ben who was sitting across from him and looking out at the scenery. He remembered this place. A couple years ago they'd taken a break from looking for The Charlotte and when Riley begged Ben to _please _go up the mountain with him, Ben couldn't say no. Especially after Riley pulled the puppy dog eyes.

It was probably the greatest day ever. Ben had quickly became Riley's best friend and Ben obviously thought of Riley as a good friend too if he was willing to explore a mountain when he was dead tired. The confirmation of their friendship -- Riley's first real friendship basically -- is what made this day so special.

Once the two were seated on a couple of rocks just near the edge of a drop-off they talked. Treasure hunting was demanding work and the two had never really just talked before then.

It must have been a dream -- Ben forgetting his birthday -- because they were here again. Alone. But then Abigail was there.

The blonde was holding her finger out towards Ben and whining over a tiny paper cut. Without even a second glance at Riley, Ben was at her side. He tried to calm her down and was searching desperately through his pack for a band-aid.

Riley yelled for Ben's attention but he was ignored. After taking a huge breath and preparing to yell for his friend's attention again the ground beneath his feet fell. He barely managed to catch the edge of the hole he'd fallen through and ended up screaming girlishly. Still Ben didn't turn around.

"Oh god, Ben!" Riley desperately tried to get his attention, tears running freely down his face.

Ben simply waved at Riley like he was a nuisance and continued to tend to Abigail's cut.

Soon Riley's very weak upper arm strength gave out and he was falling.....falling.....falling.....

With a terrified screech Riley tumbled off of the couch and slammed into the floor. He reached out blindly, tears blurring his vision. His fingers brushed against an empty can of beer and with an irritated groan he searched for a full one.

After finding what he was looking for he opened the alcohol and drank it greedily. He still wasn't forgetting.

Damn it he needed to forget!

**BENBENBENBENBENBENBENBENBEN**

Ben bolted upright. "Riley!" He was already half way out of bed before Abigail grabbed his arm.

"It was a dream!" She snapped angrily, still practically asleep.

"I let him fall. How could I just let him fall?" Ben demanded, still not fully aware of his surroundings.

"You didn't!"

He collapsed back onto the bed, still breathing heavily. "But...." At Abigail's angry grumble he stopped. "Nevermind. What time is it?"

She sighed. "You're not going over there."

"Why?"

"It's three in the morning! And he's fine. You forgot his birthday, he'll forgive you. He just needs to sleep on it."

Ben sighed. She was probably right. She was always right. But he never fell back asleep, just ended up staring at the ceiling all night and picturing Riley falling to his death.

He'd go see Riley at noon. Riley didn't ever wake up until noon so it would be stupid to go earlier. Could Ben wait that long?

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Review please! I love reviews!

Sorry for my lack of writing lately, christmas break was REALLY busy. Ughness

Alrights!!! I have something to ask. As I'm probably going to end up bashing Abigail a lot, should this just be slash? I'm having a hard time writing this without making it Briley but I won't make it that unless my readers want it. Some people hate slash, some love it. So, yay or nay? I NEED TO KNOW!

Oh and P.S. was the Riley dream part confusing? I didn't really know how to write it lol


	5. Falling Inside

Cheese guys! While I'm happy for the amount of reviews I got last time, it was just a suggestion. No Briley slash, my goodness. I just wanted to know what you guys wanted.  
I like slash (understatement) so I wanted to see if that's what you guys liked too. That doesn't call for you being all, "Slash is YUCK!!11!11!1 *exercist-ness*"

Blarg!

But, for you who wanted slash, I'll probably make an alternate slashy ending :D (I almost made this entire thing slash just to spite the rude people, but some were actually nice about the no slash thing so I figured I wouldn't)

If that seems rude, I'm sorry. I just hate it when people are rude about other people's opinions...especially on the subject of homosexuality. Honestly, I don't care if you don't like it, I just get pissed and offended when people bash it. If you're allowed to have an opinion on something, so am I. No bashing is needed.

Angry!Author's Note aside, enjoy this short chap.

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It was almost 9 when Abigail woke up. Ben jumped up as soon as she was out of bed. She glared at him. "Not until noon."

With a groan Ben hauled himself down the stairs and into the kitchen, Abigail trailing behind closely, like she was worried he'd run to Riley's apartment.

"It's only a few hours Ben." Abigail snapped.

"I hurt him!" He replied, starting up the coffee maker.

"You forgot his birthday, it's not that big of a deal. He'll have plenty more."

Ben stared at her. "Why are you acting like this isn't important?"

"Because you're making such a _big _deal out of this."

"He's my best friend!"

"I'm your fiance! You didn't even look at me last night."

Ben shook his head and turned around.

"I swear Ben if you go over there right now we're done. I'm sick and tired of being second best."

Sighing, Ben sat down. A couple more hours certainly weren't worth risking his marriage over because they wouldn't really make a big difference.

Right?

**SCENE CHANGE SCENE CHANGE SCENE CHANGE **

Riley didn't really know why he was waiting for Ben to knock on the door or call. Maybe because he felt like shit. Maybe because there was nothing else to do now. Probably because he just really _needed _Ben to show he cared.

Riley sat in the same position, curled in a ball just beside the door and staring at his cell phone, for about an hour.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Fucking nothing.

Screaming in frustration he threw the phone across the room as hard as he could. He swore viciously when it slammed into the window, smashing the glass.

Reluctantly, Riley forced himself up, going to pick up the shards of glass so he wouldn't step on them later. But, his swimming head made it hard to be careful. He accidently stepped on a broken piece.

Riley yelped in pain and lost his balance, falling backwards. "Stupid, stupid." He went to pull the glass out of his foot but stopped when he saw the blood leaking from his foot.

He stared in morbid fascination as his blood stained the clear piece of broken glass red. Finally, he ripped the piece out quickly, grinning at the pain that burned through his foot.

Experimentally he grabbed a bigger piece of broken glass and pressed it into his arm. It hurt. Laughing almost hysterically he made a few shallow cuts on both arms.

It was easier to stop thinking of Ben as the pain overwhelmed him.

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So, this was filler to get the attempted suicide stuff into motion. Yes, Abigail is being an epic bitch. I needed something to keep Ben distracted so I could torture Riley more XP


	6. Falling To The Depths

K...so...my plan for this story was all screwed up because I realized that my chapters were so tiny. This is basically the longest thing I can muster up for you right now until I figure all this stuff out. Blah! But hey, I've written nearly 3 one-shots in the past two days so I'm hopeful inspiration is coming back to me!

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Riley frowned when all too soon the pain in his arms disapated to a dull throb and the memories came flooding back. It figures that the stupid pain wasn't enough to keep thoughts of Ben away.

Stupid, stupid Ben.

Ignoring him constantly, forgetting things. Riley would die for Ben in a second but Ben would only die for Abigail.

Riley couldn't help but hate her. Before it had been Ben and Riley. After she came it became Ben and Abigail as Riley faded to the background. Ben and Abigail got all the fame and interviews, while he just got some money that he barely ever used.

Whoop-dee-fucking-do.

Sometimes it felt like Ben was going to start talking to him excitedly about one dead person or another, but then Abigail would come flaunting in with more knowledge of that dead guy than Riley would ever even think to learn.

She would talk with Ben while the two would ignore Riley completely. So yeah, he hated Abigail. And Ben? Well, he desperately _wanted _to hate Ben, but never really could. Not then, not now, not ever.

And it hurt so much.

"Ben please." Riley whispered, not particularly caring about the fact that he was losing his mind and talking to no one. "I need you right now. Please come!"

Sobbing loudly again, Riley glared down at the pieces of glass surrounding him. It was like they were taunting him.

He remembered all of the depressing articles in the newspapers Ben insisted on buying about suicides. Riley had always read those articles, thinking about how selfish that seemed. Those people had family and friends. But Riley didn't.

Ben and Abigail would hardly care. They probably wouldn't even notice he was dead for at least a few days. So really, who would _he _be hurting if he killed himself?

No one.

And at this point, he'd do anything to stop thinking.

Taking in a deep breath, Riley picked up another piece of glass – sharp and clear, not red stained like some of the other pieces. Smiling, he pressed it to his wrist.

Anything to forget.

**ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST (HPPP ftw) **

Abigail couldn't help but hate Riley. He was the only thing that Ben cared about more than her and she _knew _it. She'd made it a habit to interrupt whenever he talked to Ben and she always had to one-up him.

Riley was funny and energetic while she was serious and would rather sit down and read intead of run around. It always seemed like Ben and Riley had known each other forever.

Abigail was the one who had proposed to Ben in the first place and Ben said he needed to see if Riley was ok with it first. Of course, Riley wasn't ok with it until Abigail accused him of being selfish. After that he'd given his blessing, more concerned about Ben's happiness than his own.

When Riley realized Ben forgot his birthday Abigail had actually felt terrible. He looked crushed. But then Ben had obsessed over it – over him – and she made sure that Ben stayed home with her. Where he belonged.

But now Ben refused to talk to her and she really doesn't know what to do. Did she make a mistake?

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So there, some insight into Abi's feelings. Did you enjoy that? Review please!!


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